Sunday, May 13, 2012

I Got It From My Mama

The Raj.

You see that woman? That's my mom. I call her Rajish because it suits her more, obviously.

She likes listening to gangsta rap and watching old musicals.

She likes drinking caramel apple martinis.

She wears dresses all the time, just like me.

Her laugh is infectious--and most of the time, we're laughing together.

She can't do impressions: Italian sounds like French and her Spanish sounds like New York.

She didn't eat me when I was born, so she's better than some moms, animal-wise.

She didn't kill me during several phases I went through growing up, so she's better than some moms, human-wise.

She taught me the rule, "There's No Touching," at a young age and made it psychologically difficult to let anyone ever touch me ever. (Served me well in high school!)

Speaking of high school...

One time when me, my friend, and my cousin were dirt biking, Raj had us all get into my dad's X-Terra to go four-wheeling.

One time, we ran out of butter at a crucial moment of cooking, so we raced to the nearest grocery store in the worst clothing imaginable. (Raj wore acid green, skin tight capris. I forgot pants completely and walked in with a towel around my waist.)

One time my dad bought a parrot even though Raj said no. We all went to dinner together and she didn't know, but as soon as my dad went to the bathroom she looked me in the eyes and cajoled it out of me. Therefore, Raj is a master mind of sorts.

Raj wearing stripes with all of her friends.

Basically, Mother's Day is important. It's made up, yes. And you should give your mother the appreciation she deserves all the time, but most people tend to forget.

So Raj, I love you with all of my heart. Happy Mother's Day to the strong woman in my life.

In fact, Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there.

All you mamas who rock the dollas.


P.S. Attention: I did not die from the spider bite. In fact, it's looking somewhat normal now. The bite, I mean.

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