Monday, May 14, 2012

18, 19, 20, 21

Thinking back, this thing could have been smaller.

I calculate age in an odd way. Before I would base it all off of if I could have been graduating from high school or not. The year I was eighteen and most of the year that I've been nineteen, I've been reminding myself not to be too freaked about my future because, after all, I could still be in high school at this age.

But this year I'll be twenty and it's starting to freak me out that the world won't be so kind to me just because I'm "young."

Eventually, people won't look at how I dress as "quirky." They'll just sit there and sip their black (to match their hearts) coffee and say, "Isn't she much too old for that sort of thing? Why hasn't she found herself already?"

This is stressful people. Right now, the world is supposed to be my oyster. I'm supposed to be going out with friends, drinking illegally, and taking showers.

What have I been up to? Baby talk, mostly with my boyfriend. Pining after certain happy meal toys (considerably depressed that I never received a Happy Feet toy). Aimlessly wandering through out the blog scene as well as 9gag. And just, you know, not important stuff.

Not to mention that it's summer and I don't have any classes. I literally feel closer to the depth of a baboon than a human being during the summer. My brain doesn't process things quickly. My priorities don't go higher than basic instincts of survival.

Me during the summer.

This all is very stressful, I add, once again. And now that I want to get a job over the summer? Readers, catastrophe will be here soon. "Is that an earthquake?" "NO IT'S ME GOING CRAZY."

You might be thinking, so what, you're going to be twenty. Life isn't going to change that drastically. Go to school, have a job, be happy. And I have an answer for that response: Yes.

Yes, I'm going to do the same things and be happy. I will try my best to not over analyze everything. And when I realize that I'm a for real for real (prison slang) adult, I'll probably be so good at it that all the other adults will be mad jealous of my adult skillz.

Not giving any fucks upon entering adulthood.

With that I bid adieu.

Peace out.


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